The Washington Experiment III

So far, the Washington experiment has been nice.  Except for being fed up with all the frozen food that I’ve ordered, everything has gone quite well.  Oh yes, I hate the phone charges too.  The phone companies here charge you money even when you’re the recipient of the call.  How screwed up is that?

At any rate, now I understand why so many people would love to live here.  Especially here in the beautiful Virginia suburbs.

I love the roads here, they’re so well-maintained.  I get to see all of my dream cars every single day.  It’s like shopping for toys.  Oh I like that one! No, no that one! Wait! that one! Definitely! er, maybe that one?  Of course, traffic here is a drag but, it’s not as bad as Manila traffic where you could get stuck on the roads for several hours.  Everyday, I ride the Fairfax Connector bus and the Metro train to get to work.  And get this, I work 2 blocks from the White House.  Being a West-Wing fanatic, I would love to take a picture of it someday and maybe even go on a tour.

For me, the whole experience has been equivalent to 8 hours of therapy on the shrink’s couch.  For the first time in several months, I’m proud to say that I’ve overslept a couple of times.  I was even late to a meeting once.  It’s great! Well, I mean the oversleeping.  The lateness has been a little troubling but hey, I’m getting the right amount of sleep.  I don’t get tired at work and so far, I’ve only fallen asleep in a meeting once.  Then another time at my desk.  I work and the Banco Interamericano de Desarrollo which means the Inter American Development Bank.  This is sort of a mini-World Bank that extends financial aid to South American countries.  From what I’ve heard in the cafeteria, almost everyone speaks Spanish.

I work a lot with a guy from Headstrong named Ali.  He’s an Iranian-American.  He migrated to America just before the Revolution overthrew the kingdom of
Iran.  Yes, before the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah.  Um, well before the Ayatollah.  He’s shown me around.  I work with some South Americans from Bolivia and Brazil: Abraham (we call him Tonino), Jackson and Flavio.  I could insert a funny Fabio reference here but I don’t really know any.

By the way, where I work, the cafeteria food is to die for.  Every day a team of cooks serve gourmet food in the cafeteria at unbelievably low prices.

French Toast, Bacon, spiced potatoes and sausage for 6 dollars.  Oh yes, did I mention that the coffee they serve is from Starbucks?  For lunch I have choices between a salad bar, vegan grass delights (ew), roasted half chicken and the occasional gourmet spanish meal.  They also serve donuts, different kinds of bagel, different kinds of bread, and my favorite, sweet cheese danishes (and other flavors too).  When my boss, Craig, dropped by, he took me and Ali out to eat at Cosi’s, it’s an Italian sandwich place.  Best grilled chicken parmesan sandwich I ever ate.  (Also the only one I ever ate)

The hardest part about being me is people often mistake me for a child.

I’ve been called little guy, little boy, boy, son and young man.  (I don’t mind the last one so much but I really don’t feel all that young anymore)  One time, the guy I share an office with told me that his colleagues have been asking if I’m his son.  It doesn’t help of course that I always dress like I’m in High School on Friday’s.

The weather is perfect.  There have been times when it’s been alarmingly cold but my trusty north face jacket has kept me warm.  I had a flu scare a couple of days ago because I was feeling a little run down and I had a slight fever.  Luckily, it was just the cold weather.  The most pronounced difference in Virginia and Washington DC would have to be the trees.  You will never see a tree in sight in DC.  They’ve wilted in the presence of the politicans who are scattered throughout DC.  People in Metropolitan DC also have a tendency to give off an air of officiousness that I find intimidating.  (Then again, it might also be that they’re mostly taller than I am)  Lately, I’ve been catching up on my American lore by beginning to understand the sport of Football.  Honestly,  it’s better than pro-wrestling.  How can you not love a sport that encourages beating up on the scrawny guy with the ball?  Hey, as long as it’s not me, I’m fine with it.

Another thing that I’m amazed about in this country is that people are not afraid to shit at the office.  Yes, I mean take a dump, defacate, take five, read a magazine, or the more popular nickname, the number two.  Usually when I’m in my Manila offices, the cubes are empty beside me when I take a dump.  Lately, I’ve noticed that the seats are almost always to capacity.  I just make sure to stomp on any feet wandering in my area of responsibility.  I’m not gay boys.

Sorry.

And the women, wow.  Especially at the office, there are so many Latina beauties flying around the place.  I almost broke my neck trying to turn my head 360 degrees.  It’s true what they say, South American women are beautiful and buxom.

I went to the mall today, I bought books from Barnes and Noble.  I got really bored watching different TV series on my laptop over and over again.  I want to
go out to a restaurant and eat but I feel kind of weird eating alone over here.  So I decided to try their McDonald’s, and I was too early for a regular meal but I got a tiny breakfast meal instead.  Sort of like the McMuffins in the Philippines only they use pancakes in place of the normal “muffins” used by our

McDonald’s (they’re not really muffins, they’re flat pandesals!!!).  Now I know where Jollibee got their inspiration for their famous pancake sandwiches.  At any rate, as I consumed my bacon, egg and cheese sandiwch meal quietly, I browsed through what they offered.  I realized then that eating at American fastfoods are like episodes of the Amazing Race crossed with the Biggest Loser:

The heart-attack and the stroke racing to decide which one of them gets to kill the burger eating motherfucker first.

American Fast Foods are high in FAT content.  They have meals which contain a 1/2 pound burger, a bucket of fries and a liter of softdrink.  I mean, what the fuck dude?  I want to see my 40’s.  Then in the afternoon, I decided to grab some groceries.  Since on weekends, the buses are 1 hour plus apart.  I decided
to hang out at Wendy’s.  Seriously, for the first time in my life, a burger menu made me sick.  Triple Layer Burgers with Bacon and Cheese!!!  I call it the
Sudden Death meal.  You eat it and you just suddenly keel over from consuming all that fat.  I seriously think that if America halved its servings, we could end world hunger.  I mean, a triple layer burger dripping with bacon fat and cheese?  I decided to go with the considerably more conservative, white meat grilled chicken sandwich.

I was actually trying to get to the Smithsonian today but I spent most of the day waiting for the bus, hoping the rains stop and grabbing some stuff to cure my endless boredom and hunger at the hotel.

All in all though, I think I’m really starting to like it here.